If someone tells you they were abused as a child.
Talking about abuse can be difficult for a survivor at any stage of their healing. There is no right thing to say or do; however it is important how you react as this can affect how they feel about themselves and their recovery. Of all the things you can do at this time perhaps the most important is to be yourself, and be the best friend you can be.
Dos
- Believe them and what they tell you
- Allow them to express their feelings
- Listen to them when they want to talk, but don’t force a discussion.
- Reassure them it wasn’t their fault
- Support them in seeking help to heal. Suggest options and actions (medical, psychological and other assistance), but let the survivor decide what actions to take.
- Respect the time and space it takes to heal
- Assure the survivor that you will be available to provide support through the process of recovery.
- Take the initiative to maintain contact with the survivor.
Don’ts
- Don’t be judgemental – they may cope in ways that are hard for you to understand
- Don’t sympathise with the abuser
- Don’t ignore what happened
- Don’t try to take over and make decisions for them
- Don’t blame them
If someone you care about has told you they have been sexually abused you might be feeling angry, frustrated, helpless, not sure what to do next, unsure of what to say, shocked, sad. It is very difficult to hear stories about abuse. Remember to take care of yourself, find someone else to talk to and seek counselling if necessary.
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